Wednesday, July 18, 2012

He Loves Me

DISCLAIMER: This is me bragging on my husband a little bit.  So if you're not in the mood for gushy right now, I advise that you click away...

Let me start by saying that I love being married.  Absolutely love it.  But - and I'm being very transparent here - there's this little itty bitty ounce (or maybe even smaller than an ounce) of me that still feels a bit insecure about how Matthew feels about marriage.  Don't get me wrong, I know he loves me and loves being married - I mean, after all, he chose me.  :D  But I think part of Satan's plan to ruin marriages is to plant little doubts in our minds that make us question our spouses, which is exactly what I think this bit of insecurity is.  Because, if I allowed it, this could become a huge issue between us.

Anyway, with that said, Monday afternoon I cranked my car to go do some work errands, and it wouldn't start.  This isn't an entirely new problem with my car - usually I just have to let it sit for a minute and it will start.  However, this time it still didn't start, even an hour later.  So I let Matthew know that he was going to have to pick me up at work when he got off and that we'd deal with my car from there.

For a little bit now, we've been discussing the idea of becoming a one car family because my car is old and not very reliable (see above paragraph).  And our plan would be to buy a new-used car within a few months of getting rid of mine.  But we hadn't made the plunge yet because my car was still running and his eats through gas so quickly (and it's so expensive).  Plus, I don't think Matthew was 100% sold on the idea because we're not sure when we'd buy a new car, which means we'd be doing the one-car thing indefinitely.

But then my car wouldn't start.

So we finally get it started - by jumping it - and take my old little 93 Honda Accord to a mechanic friend of the Venturas (who has an awesome Lithuanian accent) and discover that there's a problem with the distributor.  And we're going to have to leave it overnight.

Instantly, we have become a one car family.  Which means I wake up around 4 am to take Matthew to his carpool meet-up so that I can use the car to get to work mid-morning and then pick him up from his carpool drop-off around 3 pm.  Overall, it's not terrible.  The hardest part is that I have to get up super early to take him to where he needs to be.

Now back to my little insecurity issue.  I could tell Matthew wasn't completely ready to go to one car, and so I didn't want to push him.  But now we're forced into it.  So I've been super appreciative of Matthew being so cooperative with it and allowing me to use his car during the day.  And I already have been trying to show him how much I appreciate that he gets up so early in the morning to provide for us.  I basically didn't want to give him any reasons to think I don't appreciate him, especially since it's my car that is the source of our vehicle issues right now.

This morning, we were waiting for his carpool buddy (and bff) to pick him up for work, and we haven't said much because we were both still tired.  But Matthew turns to me and says, "I love you, and I love that you're doing this" (as in, waking up early to drive him to his carpool).  <3 <3 <3

It was one of the sweetest moments.  Because this whole time I've been thinking he feels inconvenienced, but he wasn't.  He was more worried about me and inconveniencing me.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now, to have a husband who cares so much about me and takes such good care of me.

the hubs and me at our rehearsal dinner
And I feel so blessed to have a God who loves me and gives me discernment to recognize the enemy's plans against me and my marriage.  And that he uses my husband to affirm that I have no reason to question his love.  :D

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