That's me this week.
I've been emotional lately about Kasie, just missing her a lot. And that's definitely weighed on my soul and physical being.
But last week, my boss, our senior pastor, delivered the news that he's resigning and leaving for Texas with his family before the end of July.
With his leaving comes a lot more responsibility on my plate, which is fine. But there's so much to be done and so many questions to ask. And so many questions that will - I'm sure - be asked of me in the coming days.
The hardest part, however, is the emotion that comes with all of it.
I've worked with Pastor Jamie for a long time now, officially and un-officially. He's been a large influence in my career in ministry and a good, good friend. He has been my mentor. He has been so influential in Matthew's life, especially in these later years. When it came time to pick someone to marry us, there was no question that we'd ask Pastor Jamie. There could be no one else.
His wife, Kim, has been a sweet friend and fellow worship leader. She has helped us transform our second service music-leading with her syrupy voice and genuine heart of worship. Kim was also very much there for me during some hard times when I needed a shoulder to cry on and for someone to listen and give godly wisdom to my situations. I've also learned so much about being a godly wife and mother, especially in the context of ministry life, as I've watched her and lived life with her through the years. She has a laugh bigger than life, too.
PJ's oldest daughter, Chelsea, is a younger version of myself, in so many ways. We are dear, kindred spirits - she's even going to college at my beloved alma mater, ETBU, this fall. We've already been anticipating her departure for college but also expected to see her over the holidays every once in a while. And Chelsea has been there since my beginning here. My first summer at FBCPO as youth intern was her first experience in the youth group. Her and I have grown together a lot. We've walked this road together for a while. Not to mention we are both band nerds. :)
And then there's Phoebe. Phoebe is an absolute delight. My favorite memory of her goes back to my first summer here, and the Greenings invited me over for dinner one night. Phoebe, in her sweet six-year-old(ish) fashion didn't hesitate to ask, "Are you from Mexico???" We all had a good laugh over that! Phoebe just entered into the youth group this year, and it was an interesting start. Chelsea and I have been connected for a long time, but it took Phoebe and I longer to find our special bond. I've grown to love and adore her unique, sweet spirit, and I feel like she is finding herself more and more. She has a big heart and can chat with you all day long.
I'm going to miss my sweet Greening family very, very much. I am, however, among the few blessed ones who will get to see them more than most because their home in TX is very near where my grandparents live. So there's much joy in that. And I'm so excited for this new leg in their journey and for the opportunities that await them all.
And the beauty of the work Pastor Jamie has done here is establishing that the church isn't the pastor. The church is the people, and, more importantly. A friend and fellow FBC worshiper said it so well on Facebook yesterday,
"A pastor is not the church, he may lead it and he may be its visionary, but he is not the church. A pastors job is to lay down a strong foundation for its members, while they themselves are the homes exterior paint. Though outsiders may only see the pastor paint job, the do not see the strong foundation the home is built upon. Though many of us are afraid to see what Color the next paint job may be, we should instead appreciate the condition the home was left in." (Daniel "Roy" Braunstein)If you're a praying person, I covet your prayers for our church and leadership over the next months. I know this process will not likely be easy, but I believe the Lord will see it through.
In the meantime, I'm going to work on going to bed a bit earlier and resting more. :)